2015 is a big year for me. a lot of things happened and cant believe that I was able to go trough all of it. one of it; kawad kaki.
I've been a part of kadet polis since 2012. wah lama kan. actually I was a scout member when I was in primary school and I participated in kawad kaki so terbawa-bawa sampai ke sekolah menengah. when I was in form 1 aku hampir tak jadi ahli kpo bcs of my height lol but then kak peah asked me "pandai kawad tak?" and I was like "pandai" lol tbh I said it confidently so she gave a form to be filled. so when I was in form 2, all form 2 members kena datang petang untuk ujian/pemilihan kawad kaki. I was chosen by cikgu sadiah but my friends didnt. tapi aku paksa Qilah & Nad masuk so kak Ekin kasi dorang masuk. thank you guys, tanpa korang berdua I wont surive ok srsly.
on 2012 juga lah I got a nickname from our sarjan, kak Adi. masa tu I felt like crying okay sebab everybody laughed at me. I was terribly hurted ceh. but there was a senior who never called me using my nickname. she always called me by my full name :-) I admired her so much ok lol. on that year juga lah I was always got compliment by cikgu Sadiah hehehe "bagus bu hentak 90" "yang lain ce hentak 90 cam bu" "badan bu besaq pun boleh hentak 90" lol great times.
so this year, 2015, I was elected to be the sarjan. I was actually speechless ok bcs as yknow, my self-esteem is too low just like my exam marks lol. I am that kind of person yang selalu buat bising (esp this year is my senior year so yeap) and so on. so i was like 'how am I going to lead everybody?!' I tried my best to give my best for my team so they can do their best and be the best on the most awaited day, pertandingan peringkat sekolah&daerah.
a lot of teachers (SERIOUSLY A LOT OK COUNTLESS) talked bad about our team. "kadet dah tak macam dulu" "tahun ni jatuh" and so on. it hurted my pride. so bad. sampai aku rasa macam dah, stop je. but a big thank to Anna, Echa, dak kawad, we ignored those bullshits and go on. bukan cikgu je, budak lain pun sama. tak kira la budak lower form ke upper form ke, dorang semua kutuk kami macam depa tahu kawad. budak form 5 pun sama, most of them. dah lah tak bagi physically support, moral support pun takde guys. siap ada yang doakan kitaorang jatuh tersungkur. siapa tak sedih, you tell me? depan depan kemain senyum tapi belakang nauzubillah macam apa kutuk. doa korang termakbul, kitaorang daerah dapat no 3. were you guys happy? ;-)
one of the worst thing was kitaorang tak dapat naik pentas. tahun sebelum ni dapat no 2, dapat juga pengetua sarung medal atas pentas. even though tak ramai tepuk, for at least the whole school knew what we did for the school. tapi this year, takde. nobody declared our kemenangan. nobody. "eh dah kalah tu ada hati nak naik pentas" I know :-)
bohonglah if I said I wasnt disappointed. I pretended to be okay, but actually I did not. rasa bersalah dekat Cik wan, who always came to our school just to teach us. he also bought pangkat SM for me (its quite expensive okay rm30) Cik din, yang sangat yakin kitaorang boleh menang. these two people, they never stop giving us moral support sampai nak masuk padang. cikgu yuslaini, cikgu Bahiyah, cikgu safiah yang tenangkan kitaorang lepas keluar padang kawad. & also cikgu norizan who willingly bought mafla warna kuning even though she bought the white one at first but we were so manja nak warna kuning. she bought our stuff with her own money and thats a lot. I can still remember how does cikwan and cikdin looked like right after kitaorang keluar padang. they were so disappointed. sangat sedih sebab banyak sangat slack dekat formasi. too much. at first they were so confident with our kawad statik dan dinamik tapi bila masuk formasi terus bang.
thank you for those who never stop supporting us until the end. we were also sad just like you guys. hopefully you guys can continue to support us next time. and for those who talked bad about our team, about me, try to put yourself in my shoes. and then you will know how sick I was, physically and mentally.
apa kau buat will always go back to you. so you pray our failure, then you will also failed when you lead an organization or what in the future. just a beautiful reminder ;-)
and for my budak Kadet, I love you girls even though korang benci sangat aku. I know, I was the reason we failed. it was all my fault. next year, do your best. do not make our teachers, cikwan and cikdin disappointed again. or else, you will feel the same pain again.